HRLT Book ImageWhen I am at a bookstore, I love to flip through the pages to see what gems are hidden inside the pages. Don’t you? Here are some excerpts from various chapters in “The High Road Has Less Traffic: honest advice on the path through love and divorce.”

Chapter 2 … Discovering the Midlife Crisis: Just Buy a Red Convertible and Be Done With It!

“I’ve talked with different women, and we’ve compared notes about the ‘common’ things our husbands told us as we realized it was the beginning of the end. More than once I’ve said, “I feel like you overheard our conversation.” The consistency of messages was frightening, and the standard phrases were comical. The conversations sound something like this, “We’re drifting apart. I don’t know what I want. It isn’t you. It not about you; it’s about me. I haven’t been happy for a long time. I don’t know what love is. I’m not fulfilled. I don’t miss you at all. You deserve someone better than me.”

Chapter 4 … Taking the High Road: It is ALL About the Best Interests of Your Children

“At the end of the day, when you share what you know with the world at large, or yell and scream, or attack with golf clubs, or react in any other negative way, your kids may eventually see it and that’s not the behavior you want to role model for them.” … “And, by acting out, your husband will feel completing justified in validating his own behavior, “See, you are such a b****, this is why you drove me to leave you; if you weren’t such a mean person, I would never have done this.”

Chapter 5 … Getting the Word Out: Why is Telling Mom So Tough?

“I managed to sputter out in short staccato bursts of air, “I’m … O … K … no … body … is … hurt … hold on … I … need … to … catch … my … breath …” It was awful. My poor mom. She had to listen to me hyperventilating, not knowing what was going on, but clearly with a sinking feeling that she was about to hear something tragic.”

Chapter 6 … Telling the Kids: The Most Difficult Thing You Will Ever Have To Do

To this day, I can remember the next seconds in the most infinite detail. I can recall the look on both kids faces as they absorbed and interpreted his words. I see the detail on their faces as they both took on this look of pain and began to cry. It was absolutely horrible to watch. Writing this, it still feels absolutely horrible. It was a slow-motion nightmare and I hated him for what he was doing to our family.”

Chapter 8 … Figuring it Out: ‘Social Networking’ Has a Whole New Meaning

“What I will add is that every single woman I have spoken with who has received the , “I don’t love you anymore speech” has asked her husband if there was someone else. And, every single, time – yes, every time – the answer has been, “of course not.” … and many women believe this for a while … and then, at some point, doubt wins … makes you want to scream, “What do you think I am, stupid?”

Chapter 12 …  Using the “F” Word: The Power of Forgiveness

“Ultimately, I reached a tipping point. The anger was getting old. I was tired of being consumed with negative thoughts. I am not a nasty person by nature, and this was taking it’s toll on me.” … “Once I forgave my ex-, I felt truly at peace. Sure, my situation still sucked … big time, but I was no longer harboring such a vicious anger in my heart. I was no longer planning my revenge. In the midst of all the noise, I was calm in my heart.”

Chapter 13 … Partnering with an Attorney: You Can’t Do This On Your Own

“Choosing an attorney can be tough. This is such a personal and emotional situation. You want someone who understands you and listens to you. You want someone who can negotiate on your behalf. You want someone who is savvy and smart. You want someone who is realistic, but is also looking out for your best interests. You want someone who is responsive and who treats you with respect (and not just as another divorce case). You want someone you can trust.”

Chapter 14 … Celebrating 40: Will I Ever Have Sex Again?

“Another one of those overwhelming thoughts that entered my mind was “I’ll never have sex again.” Don’t laugh. It’s true. Wouldn’t this thought cross your mind too? At 40 years old, I had the body of a middle-aged woman who had delivered two kids. I felt good in jeans and a sweater, but naked? That’s another story. … no man was going to see my jiggly butt!”

Chapter 17 … Spending Time Alone: Learn to Relish & Recharge

“The reality is that once my kids were gone, I was really at a loss for what to do. …  As moms, most of us are used to constantly “doing” for our kids: we’re fixing meals, washing clothes, helping with homework, running them to extracurricular activities, getting them ready for bed, packing lunches, and the list goes on and on. … Ultimately I came to realize that I needed to learn to accept, and perhaps even cherish, these times alone. I could either be miserable, or I could learn to embrace these moments. The choice was up to me, and I alone held the power to make that decision.” 

Chapter 19 … Becoming Friends: We’ll Be Like Bruce and Demi

“We have even gotten to the point where we can joke about some things together. When they married, her initials became my old initials so I gave her a great monogrammed straw bag someone had once given to me that I had stuck in the back of my closet. I told her that she might as well put it to good use. My kids thoughts that was pretty cool! That gesture went a long way.”

Chapter 23 … Looking Back On It All: The Epilologue

“At the end of this journey, don’t lose who you are, just improve who you are. It is a waste to go through a life experience like this without taking the time to learn more about who you are and becoming a better person on the other side … otherwise, you lose. Period.”